Teddy bears for families of the fallen

November 11 marks a bittersweet day — one that celebrates those brave men and women of the armed services who protect our freedoms each and every day.

Special to the Coastal Point • Tyler Valliant
Marcia Bonifas with a few of her teddy bears, handcrafted by women of the Ocean Waves Quilt Guild.

A local woman saw a need for the families of fallen soldiers, through her volunteer efforts with Friends of the Fallen at Dover Air Force Base (AFB) and has spearheaded a project to provide them with handmade teddy bears. What originally began as a small condolence gift has now mushroomed into a community-involved project.

As a former employee of the Department of Defense for 20 years in the military healthcare system, as well as a military widow, Marcia Bonifas set out to volunteer her time to Friends of the Fallen.

“When I retired here I knew from my work in the Defense Department that the deceased soldiers came through the Dover Air Force Base,” she explained. “So I contacted some people to see if there was something I could do to help families because I myself am a military widow. My husband was killed on active duty many years ago and I thought I could give some help to families.”

After having read about the base’s Center for Families of the Fallen and the newly dedicated Fisher House, a home to host the families of fallen soldiers during their stay at Dover AFB during dignified transfer, Bonifas decided she wanted to volunteer for the Friends of the Fallen, a civilian organization that donated their time to the center.

“At one point there was very little for families. They were not forbidden to come to Dover but there was no place for them to congregate, to speak of, and it was very low key.”

Volunteers donate their time to the Air Force Mortuary Affairs by working at the center, hosting the incoming families, offering food, toiletries and support during the ordeal.

“There’s a civilian woman who acts as hostess in this house while they await the airplane coming, landing, and they wait there to be greeted by a senior officer who comes and talks to them and explains what the process is going to be, asks them if they have any questions and gives a formal greeting and condolences to the families,” she explained. “Now these families have just been notified 24 hours before that their loved one is deceased and is now coming back to Dover. They’re asked if they want to come, so it’s a very quick process from when they’re notified to when they come to Dover, and they actually come from all over the world.”

In September, when she was scheduled to volunteer, Bonifas was informed that she would be working with a number of children.

“The woman who was in charge of volunteers called me and said, ‘I’m going to be there with you because I understand there are going to be six or seven children. We don’t know the ages but you may need some help.’”

Once she arrived at the base she saw that there were a number of white teddy bears that had the insignia from a nationally known nonprofit organization that had been leftovers from a fundraiser and donated.

“She said since we were unsure of the ages and sex of the children we needed to take out the bows out of the hair and take off the other organizations name off the bears,” said Bonifas. “As I was doing that I felt the bottom of the teddy bear and it’s all these little plastic resin things — like what are in Beanie Babies — and they are terrible for little children, if a hole forms in them and they eat this stuff it could be very serious. And the eyes on these teddy bears were just kind of glued on. I said, ‘we can not give these teddy bears to little children’ and they said ‘well, we don’t have anything else.’”

With that, Bonifas spoke with members of Ocean Waves Quilt Guild, to see if they could help make bears for the children.

“I said, ‘Let me ask my quilt guild if they would make some teddy bears to give to the children.’ We’ve made almost 50 teddy bears this month for the children who show up for the deceased or pregnant women, we would like to give them something. They get all this information on grief and the children would really like to hold on to something because then they go onto the tarmac and await the ceremony at the airplane. For the children to have something in their hands is really a nice thing, we feel.”

Bonifas and a friend created a pattern for the bears to be given out on freezer paper for anyone interested in helping with the project. Patterns have been sent all over Delaware, through garden clubs, who have given it to members of aerobics classes, mahjong clubs, and even a local sorority. The pattern has even crossed state lines, traveling into Virginia and North Carolina.

“We’ve been giving them out to everybody we know,” she said. “We started giving the pattern out to our quilt guild and that’s how I got 20-some-odd back at our last meeting. We’ve given them out to friends… The pattern is going all over the community. The people don’t necessarily know who’s organizing it but they know where the bears are going. I’m really happy that we have had such a wonderful response from everybody.”

The bears are a simple outline, without a face. Each measures 12 inches long and 11 inches wide and are made with kid-friendly materials, such as cotton and flannel. The fabrics are patriotic patterns or small kiddie patterns, such as Care Bears.

The Milton Century Club, which makes corduroy bears for various nonprofits recently donated 15 bears to Bonifas and are planning to make more.

They are making 50 more and putting a heart at the breast of the bears saying, “USA.”

Bonifas is adding her own special touches to each bear. She ordered ribbon to be tacked around each bear that reads, “Friends of the Families of the Fallen.” She also ordered labels to be sewn onto the bears.

“The donated bears had labels on them saying “made in China.” I thought that was a little offensive so I ordered new labels that say, “lovingly made by the Friends of the Families of the Fallen.”

The teddy bear project is essentially being financed by Bonifas, with small donations from individuals and organizations.

Bonifas will be taking over 50 bears to Dover AFB Sunday for them to be distributed to the families of the fallen servicemen. She has been overwhelmed by all the community support that the project has received but noted she hopes the need will diminish.

“I just saw a need as anybody else would have seen that need too, I’m sure in that situation. I’m just so grateful to all the women in the community for taking this under their wing and running with it. I just think it’s a beautiful thing for them to do and I’m very happy just to be the conduit to bring them up to where they can be given out to the children.”

She added, “Unfortunately the need is there but hopefully it won’t go on for that much longer.”

For more information or to donate, call Marcia Bonifas at (302) 539-7261. The pattern can be found at www. oceanwavesquiltguild.org.