A visit through the world's news

There are certain points in life when we all know we’ve indeed hit rock bottom. For nudists in France, this could be that point. According to a Reuters story earlier this week, France’s data protection authority has granted permission to a nudist colony to “black list” certain guests, and bar them from the facilities.

Darin J. McCannDarin J. McCann

Look, I’m not exactly the most “body conscious” individual on the planet, but I’d be feeling a little rejected if a nudist colony told me that I didn’t possess the wardrobe they’d prefer in their facilities. Granted, I’d understand their reasoning but, still, wouldn’t that sting a bit if you were told you were “black listed” from a nudist colony?

That could make a person fully uncomfortable with his or her body. The next step would be utter humiliation for one’s appearance and could make it frightening for said individual to be naked under any circumstances — be it the shower, asleep in bed or riding the bus. Man, I remember one au naturale bus ride I took in Ocean City after about 15 glasses of Bushmills when ...

But I digress.

After my head stopped spinning, I continued reading the rest of the story and discovered that individuals were being black listed not because of their physiques, but for other reasons all together. Without getting into specific cases, the story described indecent behavior and poor hygiene as reasons for not being allowed within the confines of public/private bareness.

My fears alleviated a bit, I started moving along with my day when another thought struck me. If people can indeed be barred from the facility, and there is in fact a black list the security people have at their disposal, where do guests store their identification when they approach the gate?

Never mind. I’m not sure I want to know that answer.

Trying to cleanse very bad thoughts out of my head, I continued down my path of Reuters stories until I stumbled upon a plucky little accident victim who managed to survive a harrowing experience.

Ely “Lucky” Grills, an 8-year-old male koala in Australia, was reportedly struck by a car traveling at 100 kmh (about 60 mph) and “dragged with his head jammed through the vehicle grill” for about 7 miles. According to the story, the driver of the vehicle did not know he hit the koala until a passing motorist flagged him down and told him about the additional passenger.

Amazingly, Lucky recovered after a few hours, and is expected to make a full recovery. As of press time, he was staying at a hospital founded by the late “crocodile crusader” Steve Irwin, where he is being treated for a chlamydial infection.

Apparently, the koala was visiting French nudist colonies that don’t have “black list” rights for hygiene.

Yeah, still having a hard time getting that story out of my mind.

Realizing I needed to target my searches more to things news-related to cleanse my mind and soul, I found a story that looked to be more up my alley. Reuters reported that Mexican troops captured a small submarine in the Pacific Ocean that was loaded with smuggled drugs, and I was all about this one.

This offered credibility to a belief I’ve held for years — that some drug organizations have been able to build themselves up to the point where they were able to fund their own private militaries. Not just a bunch of yahoos holding rusty guns and pitchforks, mind you, but a full operation capable of waging war on a small nation.

Of course, I also believe that Lee Harvey Oswald was just a pawn, the first moon landing was actually filmed in a Hollywood studio and Bob Bertram is a lot smarter than he looks, so don’t trust me on any of my wild conspiracy theories. However, if you like what I’ve said so far, I have another theory that revolves around Ocean View that you might find interesting ...

Actually, since I don’t have any Ocean View conspiracy theories that sound even remotely plausible, we’ll move on to our next story.

Times are tough for many right now. Foreclosures continue to mount, gas prices are out of control and, somehow, Britney Spears continues to be in the news.

According to an Associated Press story, fire departments across the country are reporting thefts of brass nuts off the top of fire hydrants and selling them for scrap. This kind of goes with a report I saw on television a few weeks ago about thieves going into unoccupied homes and public restrooms and stealing brass and copper fixtures for the same purpose.

Mark Zwilsky, the owner of Potomac Metals Inc., said in the AP story that a solid 5-pound brass hydrant nut is worth about $7 for the thieves. Officials in northern Virgina said that nearly four dozen hydrants in Prince William County are not operable now because of the thefts.

Look, I’m never one to condone the theft of anything. However, a $7 return for possibly endangering lives and risking jail time does not sound like a wise move for any investor.

Of course, I could be wrong. My mind’s still a little occupied with our sociable koala.