There’s tough, and then there’s “Kentucky tough.”
The Associated Press reported on Tuesday that a 32-year-old Kentucky woman, who reportedly had no idea she was pregnant, delivered a son on the floor of her laundry room, cut the umbilical cord herself and picked up her other son from school on her way to the hospital.
Now, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve never actually given birth. Oh, I feel as if I’ve accomplished many things in my life, but the only thing I ever actually had growing inside of me was the result of overzealous ordering at a Mexican restaurant — and not to equate the two, but I’m pretty aware of that living organism inside me at all times. But shouldn’t a person know when she is pregnant? Aren’t there signs? Kicking? Weight gain? A person inside you?
Again, I’m no expert. And I’m sure our good friend Monica Scott will be hammering me about this and judging me as yet another insensitive man who doesn’t understand all that birthing a child involves. And that’s fair. For the sake of argument, I’ll just allow that the woman had no idea she was with child.
Still, delivering it by herself, cutting her own cord and driving to the hospital ... well, that’s the stuff superheroes are made of, right?
Time to move on to the fellas. Reuters ran a story last week about Austrailian underwear company AussieBum, and their new idea for a men’s line. The company is making a line of eco-friendly banana underwear, incorporating 27 percent banana fiber, 64 percent cotton and 9 percent Lycra.
“Naturally you can’t really add anymore banana fiber than that because it might be a bit squishy,” said AussieBum’s Lloyd Jones.
No, you really don’t want “squishy” underpants. My mother always preached three things: Apologize for your mistakes. Never say “ain’t.” And don’t wear squishy underpants.
Sage advice from a wise woman.
However, there is one item for sale that is very intriguing. The Associated Press ran a story earlier this week that both Samsung and Panasonic will start selling 3-D televisions. Samsung will be selling a 46-inch set, two pairs of viewing glasses and a 3-D Blu-ray player for about $3,000.
Now, these aren’t the old 3-D glasses that were made of some combination of paper, plastic and bananas ... wait, not bananas. I’m sorry. I just can’t get the image of banana underpants out of my head ...
But I digress.
These glasses are described by AP as bulky and battery-operated devices that require occasional re-charging. But that’s not as big a problem for consumers as the dearth of 3-D programming. ESPN recently stated that it will be launching a 3-D channel for live events, starting with June’s FIFA World Cup. And a few movies offer it. But the cupboard is pretty bare at this point — much like HDTV was at its beginning.
However, for those wanting to enjoy technology that is right at its peak, I’d suggest the Xbox 360 video game — great graphics, terrific feel for the action and it acts like its own multimedia device, capable of streaming music and photos, and playing Netflix. And there’s an interesting console for sale right now on eBay.
A 360 unit seized from the home of former Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon is now up for auction on eBay, and the current high bid is at $660, according to AP. Dixon pleaded guilty to perjury for lying about receiving gifts and she was convicted of embezzling gift cards donated to Baltimore for needy families, according to AP. The state prosecutor has said that the city will also sell Dixon’s two fur coats and a camcorder soon.
Ah, Charm City. The more one reads about the exploits of officials in that town, the more one appreciates just how on-point “The Wire” really was. Residents must be frustrated, honest officials must be outraged and morale across the board has to be in the dumps. To be blunt, all the shenanigans that transpire in that town must be absolutely humiliating to those trying to do the right thing, only to be embarrassed by city leadership.
Look out, Ocean View. You have competition.