I’m a little late writing my column this week because I had to cancel a few things I had ordered online the other night. See, there was just no doubt in my mind that I was going to win the $355-million Mega Millions lottery Tuesday night, so I took it upon myself to order a few small items in advance.
Good bye, new iPad. See you later, trendy pair of jeans. Adios, ruby-encrusted flying Ferrari.
That’s what we all do, isn’t it? The anticipation of possibly hitting the big lottery begins to infiltrate our subconscious and we instantly begin to fantasize over what we’re going to buy with the loot, or how we’re going to change the world and make it a better place if we only had the money to stir real change.
Many in our office went in together the other day to buy tickets for the Mega Millions. Instantly, Shaun Lambert was entering numbers into the calculator app on his iPhone to figure out what his share of the loot would be, figuring in taxes and a split amongst the group. Bob Bertram was discussing charitable organizations that would benefit from his philanthropy. I couldn’t hear too well from the confines of my office, but I was pretty certain I heard Susan Mutz discussing the spa and retreat she was going to have built inside her home.
Our new graphic artist, Samantha Parsons, was pretty quiet, but I’m confident in assuming she was figuring out how much notice she was going to have to give to escape this band of lunatics that works here without burning bridges.
Me? I was no different than the rest, mentally planning the profanity-laced tirades I was going to direct at all my debtors as I paid them off one at a time, considering which local charitable organizations were going to have a very good year and contemplating which private jet I was going to purchase, and how many Danish flight attendants would be working on said jet at any given time.
I also told Bob at one point that he would know instantly Wednesday morning if we had hit the jackpot or not simply by how I was dressed. If I was in normal attire, we didn’t win. If I was sitting at my desk in my boxer shorts and a robe? Well, we won and I was just going through the motions. That, or I didn’t have any clean clothes.
I love that. You see somebody you know wearing something completely out of character and you can just assume that laundry didn’t get done and it was time to break out that Christmas present from a few years ago that was hanging at the end of the closet with tags still affixed and a permanent crease from where you had shoved all your “good” clothes against it every time you did do laundry and ...
But I digress. And I do so without $355 million in hand.
But it is fun to fantasize. It’s a release from the norm to go on a mental walkabout and just escape into one’s dream world. When I was younger I sank thousands of “game-winners” by myself on our local basketball court, or caught the Super Bowl-winning touchdown pass at the playground with my friends or rocked out as Bruce Springsteen in my bedroom wearing a white T-shirt and jeans and serenading my sister’s Cabbage Patch dolls ...
Wait, did I already digress? You sure? Then, um, just mentally strike that last part, if you will. Thanks.
So, no, the Coastal Point staff did not bring home the dough from the Mega Millions lottery this week, and business will remain unchanged at your local newspaper. Oh, there are some disappointed faces in Pointland right now, but that’s not a rare thing — it pretty much happens every payday, as well.
But I assure you people around here are mentally prepared for the next big lottery to come our way, and ready to pick up the daydreams at the same place they were when all hopes were dashed Tuesday night. We’re resilient fantasizers, if nothing else.