So, I went to Sunday’s final round of the U.S. Open at Congressional Country Club in Bethesda, Md.
Yeah, there was no Tiger Woods. And, yes, there was no real intrigue to the tournament at this time because Northern Ireland’s Rory McIlroy was doing his best Tiger Woods impression by absolutely crushing the rest of the field. But there were plenty of great golf shots to witness, and a plethora of rich white people in golf clothes lining each hole to catch a glimpse of their favorite golfers.
You know, that always grabs my attention when I watch golf tournaments. I wonder if everybody shows up in golf attire with the hope in the back of their minds that a tour official will approach them as they’re eating their hot dogs and ask them to play, or if it happens because most golf fans only own golf clothing. Do people wear masks and a white outfit to fencing matches? Do bullfighting fans ...
But I digress.
Going to the tournament was a blast, though. It was cool seeing Phil Mickelson still wave and smile at fans even though he was in the midst of a tournament he’d probably rather forget, and I was in awe while in the merchandise tent — both over the sheer multitude of items they had for sale and the amount of money that was being handed over to the cashiers. In fact, commerce was brisk all around that area, as local hotels, restaurants and bars were crammed with people throughout the weekend.
Not to mention the concession stands. Oh, the concession stands.
It was a chore to get through the lines there, as people didn’t actually break into lines until they neared the register. It was a basic mob scene with people bustling for position until they got with about 4 feet of the register, and then they’d try to slide in front of somebody else for the pleasure of buying an undersized beer or overpriced bottle of water. Which brings me to my next topic ...
A Reuters story this week told the tale of a restaurateur in Australia who has been catching quite a bit of heat over his charging of about $5.30 for a glass of tap water at his restaurant. Now, to be fair, Mark Best is charging $5.30 for unlimited water, and he bought a $6,000 water system that filters, chills and carbonates tap water.
Best said he made the move to lighten his carbon impact by cutting down on refrigeration and transport needs for bottled water, as well as helping to reduce the amount of plastic bottles clogging up landfills. That effort has earned him some praise in environmentally-friendly corners of Australia, but has also earned him some condemnation, particularly in emails.
“A guy said that I was pathetic and he hoped the lawyers took me to pieces,” said Best. “I’m not sure what for.”
Indeed, it is legal in Austrailia to sell treated tap water on licensed premises, and he is not breaking any laws.
What is illegal, however, is what one deviant did at a yoga festival in Boulder, Colo.
According to an Associated Press story, a woman stepped inside a portable toilet at the festival and noticed something moving inside the tank. She then left said toilet and asked a man outside to check it out. He reportedly saw someone covered in a tarp inside the tank, and a festival security supervisor said the suspect eventually emerged from the toilet — covered in human waste — and slipped away.
Police said the suspect appeared to be in his 20s and is being sought on charges of criminal attempt to make unlawful sexual contact. He is reportedly ...
Wait. What? The guy slipped away? Covered in human waste?
I started wondering about this “festival security supervisor” and his long-term job security. How does a person covered in, well, stuff, escape from the scene?
Seriously, somebody give me the straight poop on this.