Call me Jack Flash, because I’ve been Jumpin’ from one school to the next, one game to the next, one Ruby Tuesday to the next, all spring, trying to keep up with all the new records set and milestones surpassed on the local sports scene.
And while I may be on my approximately "19th Nervous Breakdown” and could certainly use an unpaid-yet-diligent intern “Under My Thumb” to help “Start Me Up” and get to it all, in the immortal words of Mick Jagger, I guess “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” (In case you couldn’t tell, I’ve been listening to a lot of Rolling Stones cassettes driving around from game to game lately.)
“Sympathy for the Devil” or no, this ol’ “Street Fighting Man” has still managed to get to most of what’s become a “Beast of (a) Burden” this spring, but which has nevertheless been worth all the “Midnight Rambler”-ing to get to witness. Put simply, “I’d be a Fool to Cry.”
I guess the milestone-rolling all started around last week, when Indian River High School senior forward Maddie Hogsten surpassed both the number of years of the Stones’ touring career and double-digit scores on her own with her 100th career goal.
But while you’d think “It’s All Over Now,” in terms of milestone rolling, Hogsten has since gone on to scores goals No. 101 through No. 108 still with three games to go in the regular season and remaining on pace to surpass former teammate Brooke Beam’s all-time leading goals record of 114 by the time she's done.
There’s also been a fair amount of “Harlem Shuffle”-ing of the history books over on the lacrosse field, where IR junior attackman Cole “The Machete” Josetti also recently surpassed the 100-career-goals mark, and where senior midfielder George “G-Mart” Martin is ready to “Let It Loose” and “Cain’t You Hear Me Knocking” on the door of 300 career points with just 10 points left to go and two regular-season games, plus possible playoffs, left to play before he’s “Out of Time.”
Still on the lacrosse field, IR head boys’ lax coach Jim Dietsch recently celebrated the 50th anniversary of a Big Ten and national championship at the University of Maryland. And while you may be saying to yourself “‘Sweet Virginia’… that’ a lot of years,” keep in mind that he’s still about a half-century or so off from Mick’s anniversary of his first purchase of iconic leather pants, which may or may have not taken a few “Wild Horses” to make, material-wise.
In terms of the “Moonlight Mile,” head coach Rick Hundley and the Selbyville Middle School track team said, “Hey (hey), you (you),” “Get Off of My Cloud” to seven school records this past season; Alina Ritter, Aniyah Blake, Keyonia Purnell, Taylor Lipkins, Laniya Lewis and MVP Morgan McGee all getting in on the stone-shattering.
Indian River senior 2B Madi McGee went yard earlier this season on the softball diamond, which would be the first but not “The Last Time” of her career, doing it again less than 24 hours later for a walk-off win against Milford (did the Stones ever cover “Oops, I Did It Again”?… not that I know any Britney Spears songs, because I totally do not).
IR sophomore catcher Grace Snyder and sophomore CF Jacob Anderson also hit their first career high school dingers earlier this season, which were equally as milestone-surmounting, but which I’m somehow running out of Rolling Stones titles to be able to sprinkle like “Brown Sugar” in a rock-relatable/cheeky-type way.
And so, but… while I may be running out of useable “Tumbling Dice,” Sussex County certainly isn’t running out of sports milestones to watch roll and subsequently celebrate by “Dancing In the Street” and/or field-adjacent parking lot this spring.
The IR boys’ lacrosse team are still hoping for their first-ever Henlopen South and Henlopen Conference title; both the IR softball and girls’ soccer teams are hoping for their first-ever DIAA state championships; and coach Neil Barch and the Selbyville Middle School girls’ soccer team are hoping, as I write this mid-week, to pull off their second-straight undefeated season when they face coach Molly Chamberlin and the Millsboro Middle School soccer team later this very day, with MMS, of course, hoping that the Indians “Can’t Get No Satisfaction,” undefeated season-wise.
Personally, I’m hoping that no one makes fun of me like they did with the boots when I break out the Mick-signature leathers for all of those milestones-type occasions, and that someone on a Sussex County equestrian team does something soon to warrant a better use of “Wild Horses.”
But whether I’m stuck “Waiting For a Friend” or land that unpaid-yet-diligent intern by then or no — preferably a “Honky Tonk Woman” named “Angie,” which I’ve been meaning to work in for going on this whole column now — and whether the rest of those milestones are eventually rolled or no, to follow up on the whole quoting-Mick Jagger-thing from earlier, while “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”… “if you try sometimes, you’ll find… [catharsis-promising piano riff] … you get what you need.” After all, while it may be a lot to cover, I know “It’s Only Rock & Roll But I Like It” (like it, like it, yes, I do).
Here’s to hoping that “Time Is On My Side” and that I don’t go on a Beatles cassette kick next, as I lead on in my jaundiced-but-totally-not-yellow underwater craft that’s totally not a submarine, because, honestly, who could afford the rights?