Grrrrrreeeeen Acres is the place for me…
Faaaaarrrrrm livin’ is the…
No, wait a minute, that’s backward.
Goodbye Green Acres, just gim’me that city life.
Coming to a town near you! (Laurel, Del.). Now selling: Own your very own Coney Island-style apartment (or just live where you are).
• Experience rush hour just like New York City.
• Hear the beautiful sounds of sirens and honking horns all night long.
• Listen to 12,000 screaming soccer fans right from your own balcony. (And get a tan from the lights).
• Take a midnight stroll through our three-story parking garages. (Not responsible for personal injuries.)
• Witness real-life crimes and drug deals just like you see on TV.
• Sleep like you never have before to the sounds of a real amusement park and rollercoaster.
• Rent a horse and take a wild ride. They love being around rollercoasters.
• Take your lawn chair down to Broad Creek and watch it turn black from the pollution.
• Bring your RV and lay back and look up at the lights of a 6,000 seat sports stadium
• Don’t forget your BB-Q grill and plenty of steaks for your 1,400 neighbors.
• Or choose one of our row houses. You’ll swear you’re in downtown Baltimore.
Your elected officials want you to experience life as you never have before. Forget those peaceful starry nights. Those pesky deer and messy snow geese will be just a distant memory. We’re movin’ on up. No more corn and soybeans — now it’s concrete and blacktop, baby. (And tax revenues. Yeah!)
You Sussex County rednecks need enlightenment and sophistication. You need the Discovery Project.
Reserve your space now and receive a free “I Love New York” bumper sticker.
Please don’t forget your checkbook (school, fire, police, wastewater plant and stuff like that).
My letter may sound somewhat humorous, but it’s actually quite factual. The sleepy little town of Laurel will wake up one way or another. Wake up now and stop this horrid development annexation or wake up from the lights and noise from it.
The mayor and half the council are up for re-election in March. We encourage all concerned citizens to let them know that you will work against them if they annex this property on Jan. 8.
Support Sussex County Organization to Limit Development Mistakes (SCOLDM) and our opposition to this disastrous destruction of our community.