With all due apologies to Clement Clarke Moore ...
’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a computer was stirring, not even Bob’s mouse;
The papers were sent to the printer with care, in hopes that our editor would lose no more hair;
The ad reps were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of revenues danced in their heads;
Susan in her ’kerchief, and Andy in his cap, had just settled their brains for a long winter’s nap;
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, their dogs sprang from the bed to see what was the matter;
Away to the window they flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash;
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, gave a lustre of midday to objects below;
When what to their wandering eyes did appear, but a very tall Eskimo, riding some reindeer;
With the mysterious rider so tall and so long, they knew in a moment it must be old Shaun;
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name;
“Now Counts, now Walter, now Johnson and Mutz! On Tricia, on Kathy, on Maglio, you klutz!
“To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away, all!”
As Susan drew in her head, and was turning around, down the chimney Shaun came with a bound;
He was dressed in walrus fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of papers he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack;
He had a proud face and a little round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of (seal) jelly;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and delivered the Point, then turned with a jerk;
And laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, gave a passing Meleady a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle;
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
And Merry Christmas to our readers and advertisers.